Sunday, July 12th, 1981
Ted Williams once said, "Just keep going. Everybody gets better if they keep at it." Well, Teddy Baseball knew a thing or two about the Woodpeckers of Sinkwood, didn't he? And those little Peckers proved him right yesterday with a 3-0 victory over the Jailbirds of Corcoran. Sinkwood had their highest single-game run and hit totals this year, providing fans with much hope that the season has finally started to turn around.
The offensive outburst was highlighted by shortstop Jermaine Lynnstock's 2 for 4 effort, which included a solo homerun into the left field stands. Pitcher Mason Hughes again electrified the crowd with another dominant performance, throwing 9 shutout innings and striking out 15. This reporter caught up with Coach Reggie Lynnstock after the game to get his thoughts on the victory.
BM: Congratulations, Coach, on your team's second victory in a row. What was your mindset before the game? That's a tough team you beat today.
RL: Godd--- right! That team's full of tough bastards!
BM: Coach, I don't think they're that bad. Maybe, the fans are a bit rude, but those players are just kids.
RL: What the hell you talkin'? All their daddies are in jail, you jive talkin', motherf-----! You can see the prison past center field! That team is fulla mean-ass, pop-ain't-around, gut-you-with-a-knife motherf------!
BM: Coach, let us in on how you prepared your team for today's game.
RL: I promised I'd whoop they ass if we didn't get the W!
BM: Thank yo--
RL: All these kids wanna do is play those godd--- arcade games, talkin' 'bout Asteroids all the d--- time. They're mind ain't where it needs to be! Every time I catch one of my players at that godd--- arcade I make 'em give me twenty push-ups and twenty laps around the parking lot right there!
BM: Okay, thank you, Co--
RL: And I don't give a godd--- if they pitchin' good or hittin' the cover off the ball! You play on my team, your ass is grass and I'm the motherf------ lawnmower!
The Sinkwood Woodpeckers have won two in a row and are on a roll. So, too, is their fiery coach. If they keep going like this, they'll be out of the basement in the standings and, just maybe, thinking about a winning season.