"Ladies and gentlemen, rock and roll."

"Ladies and gentlemen, rock and roll."

Friday, June 30, 2017

Alvin Paradise, 54 - Tuesday, June 30th

Well goddamn it Ding, we tried your goddamn so-called “great experiment” and it didn’t work. Nobody wants to see that goddamn fantasy shit. “Clash of the Titans” and “Dragonslayer” were two of the biggest goddamn opening night bombs we’ve ever had. Deena told me she ain't ever seen the concession stand goddamn slow in tge five goddamn years she's worked here! Folks were coming by Friday night and asking if we were open. GODDAMN FRIDAY NIGHT, for chrissakes.

I know you like the stuff, Ding, and I gave you this one chance because goddamnnit you’re my oldest and most loyal employee...even if you do seriously muck up every now and again. But goddamn witches and dragons and sorcery...this shit just ain't what our audience wants to see. They wanna see women with great big watermelons being torn apart by masked killers...something the whole family can enjoy!

Do me a favor and change the goddamn marquee today:


The teens will go ape for that shit.

Also, go out to Crazy Joe’s on Highway 41 and pick up all the fireworks on the attached list. We’re gonna give em’ a goddamn helluva show Saturday night!


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