It broke your mother’s heart that you did not get your lazy butt out of bed this morning and come to church with us. More importantly, it disappointed me. Don’t you know I’m up for re-election in the Fall? If all the voters see in the pews at St. Vigor's between now and October 5th is me, your mother, and your sister, then you might as well be going into the voting booth and pulling the lever for that snake Joe Turner yourself! You know he’s trying to get this Jap auto plant project of mine shut down! Just think, Henry: all those good, hardworking people of Sinkwood won’t have a job because all you want to do is play video games at the damn Spaceport, roam down at the mall and stay up late watching those monster movies with your friend Billy.
You need to shape up, son. If you don’t, then you might as well pack your bags for Oates Military Academy in Alaska. This is my final warning.